I’ve had a lot more than 25 thoughts about London since I moved here in July 2016, but here are some which seem the most characteristic of my time here.
1.Why is everything so small?
2. People don’t know what corn dogs are
3. There’s no orange cheese, or cheese in a can. I like this.
4. How do I find Hot Cheetos?
5. Why is all dessert called pudding? Also, black pudding scares me.
6. Why do people here think pumpkin pie is weird, but fish pie isn’t?
7. No, I don’t want mayo on my fries.
8. TV shows here are amazing. Aka Gogglebox.
9. Why is the washing machine in the kitchen?
10. Wow, it must get really bleak for people to need Vitamin D supplements.
11. Oh, I need Vitamin D supplements. I miss California.
12. I swear even the dogs somehow look English
13. Where are the street signs? And why do they change in the middle of a street?
14. How did I almost get run over by a bus while standing ON the sidewalk?
15. Why is my snot black? Why does my chest hurt? Am I dying? Oh, that’s just pollution.
16. What is salad cream. What is it?!
17. Walk faster, PLEASE.
18. Why do they call arugula rocket here?
19. I want to buy something cheap, I know! I’ll go to Primark. Just have a quick look.
*Stumbles out of Primark 2 hours later, sweating profusely, slightly limping*
20. Never again.
21. Where are the toilet-seat covers? Am I supposed to pull this string to flush? Oh, it’s the light.
22. I am not running for that Tube because if I get caught in the doors I will never recover from the shame and embarrassment
23. I am getting on this train no matter what, otherwise I will be late.
24. There is definitely room on this carriage if you would just MOVE DOWN
I love you London.